I got married a couple months before my 21 birthday. I heard all kinds of reasons why my decision was crazy. "What are you going to toast with at your wedding? Grape soda?" Mormon here so being over 21 wouldn't change what we would toast with, but thanks for the concern? "People change sooo much in their 20s. How do you guys know you will still want each other then?" "How can you choose to spend the rest of your life with someone you haven't live with or even slept with?" "People who choose to marry before 28 are literally throwing their lives away. What about travel and self discovery?" "You have to fall in love a bunch before you know what you truly want in a spouse." I had several 'friends' from high school make passive aggressive facebook posts about how dumb 'people' are who chose to marry before whatever age they demeaned appropriate and had some friends who just straight out cut off all contact. It's all good.
While living in Georgia, I worked at Toys R Us/Babies R Us. Often when people noticed my wedding ring and looked back at my face, they would look at me confused or with judgment. I know I am young, but I have been told that I look even younger. Often times, these people would go on to let me know that they assumed I must have a child or two already. Why else would a young person choose to marry?
Well, I can say that there are so many reason why I decided to get married and why I still choose to stay married. It was and is the right decision for Eric and me, I would not change a single decision that I made that led me here and I can safely say that Eric feels the same way. Well actually if he could change anything, we would go back and get married sooner. lol
Some of my friends were afraid that I would regret the things I would miss out on by getting married so young. As a Mormon, I feel that a lot of the things people think I would be missing out on are things I wouldn't be doing anyways. Partying, drinking, hooking up, and ect. are not things I ever wanted. Traveling the world, experiencing new ideas and cultures, and other things that you "simply must" experience are things that marriage doesn't stop you from experiencing. If I really wanted to spend a semester in Europe, Eric would have worked his butt off with me to make it happen. We have plenty more time to see the world and plan on serving missions as a cute, old couple. For now our desire to start a family is a bigger priority to us, and if anything can change the way you see the world, it is having a child.
The biggest concern for a lot of people when it comes to getting married young is that one day you might wake up and find you are not the same person you were when you got married and that neither is your spouse. In the year and a half that Eric and I have been married, we have both changed a lot and in terms of marriage, we understand that we haven't really been married a long time. We are not the same people we were a year and a half ago, and thank goodness we aren't! People are meant to change and grow, but you can decide what direct you want to grow in. Eric and I are so much closer and more in love than we were then. We make spending time together a priority. It doesn't have to be an expensive date or big gesture. It is more about having that time together alone where we can laugh, talk, re-prioritize, and come to understand the other better. It is important to us to keep learning about each other, because we are still changing. We are also making reading scriptures together and praying together a priority. I think that is why we have grown closer.
Love is a living thing. It needs to be nurtured. Like the quote above by one of my favorite apostles, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, it is your duty to work on your marriage and keep it going. It is a conscience decision that you get to make everyday.
When you both make the decision to stay together, forever and work to make that happen, something amazing happens. You find that he is trying his best to take care of and love you and you are doing the same for him. You both give everything you have to the other person and it changes both of you for the better. Both of you find your needs are taken care of by the other and have more time to spend focusing on the other. It is truly a blessing.
This past week, I was sick and anyone who has been sick while pregnant knows that is is a miserable experience. You can't go to the normal medicines for help and have zero energy to take care of yourself. Eric was truly amazing during the whole thing. He ran to the store a dozen times and talked to my doctors about what things he could do to help me. He made sure I had plenty of things to eat, and before leaving for work made sure I had a drink near by, as well as all the other things that might possibly bring me some relief. He cleaned the entire apartment, and I never had to ask him to pitch in. He was ahead of me and my needs. He is exactly what I need in my life and I am grateful everyday that Heavenly Father sent this wonderful man into my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSgLO9FYgxM
Marrying Eric was the easiest and smartest decision I have ever made. It might not always be easy, and I am sure I am not always the most ideal person to live with. I can be stubborn, overly opinionated, and emotional. Anyone who knew me in high school or even in college, knows that I do not like asking for help or even accepting it when it is offered. Being married, though, has begun to soften those rough edges, and I haven't even been married long. I know overtime, I will see even more blessings from our marriage and only be more grateful for the ways my marriage to Eric have changed me. I have been so blessed by my decision to listen to the Lord, instead of listening to the world. I am so blessed that Heavenly Father gives us what we need and not what we think we need or want. I am thankful to have Eric remind me of the important things and point me back to the Lord when I lose my vision of the bigger picture.
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